Hey you. Yeah, you… What’s your name?

Why I Named My Blog Just Gesai

Let’s take a deep breath and dive into this meaningful conversation about names. For me, the journey to Just Gesai has been layered with EMOTIONS, ChOiCeS, and identity.

Growing up, I was Gesai Judith Courtenay—GJC was the family nickname. I proudly carried that name from elementary school through high school and college. But my name came with its challenges. Teachers and peers often mispronounced Gesai, and as a kid, I found it exhausting to correct them all the time. I was so frustrated by the mispronunciations. I got everything from

Jessie,

to GREASY, to

Giseye.

To make life easier, I would claim my last name as my FIRST, Courtenay. It didn’t hurt that my last name is known as a common first name, Courtney, which meant it was familiar and easier for people to say. It became my go-to. When a barista at Starbucks asked for my name, I’d just say “Courtney.” When anyone hesitated over how to say Gesai, I’d default to “Just call me Courtenay.” It felt

simpler

that

way,

even though it wasn’t my first name.

At 22, I got married—young and unprepared for what that truly meant. I took my ex-husband’s last name, assuming it was the “natural” next step. At the time, I was starting my career and thought a name change would simply reflect my new chapter. My professional identity quickly became tied to this new name as students, colleagues, and mentors got to know me as “Mrs. Ghost of Wife Past.”

Years later, after much hurt and struggle, I ended that marriage. So, reclaiming my maiden name felt like taking my POWER back—a declaration of independence and SELF-wOrTh. But as I embraced my identity again as Courtenay, I faced an unexpected challenge: professionally, I felt disconnected. As I transitioned to a promotion, the transition caused some to ask, Who is Courtenay? Where did she come from? My colleagues didn’t recognize me, and I had to rebuild my reputation from Scratch. That’s when I vowed never again to let my marital status dictate my professional identity.

Then…

I met my papichulo—a Puerto Rican-Trini combination of pernil and roti. When it came to names, I thought we were on the same page: I’d HYPHENATE mine, keeping Gesai Courtenay-Aponte. But when it was time to file for our marriage license, I realized we had different feelings about the meaning of names. While I loved being recognized as Mrs. Aponte—Steven’s wife and Aria’s mommy—I also cherished the part of me that had worked tirelessly to build a professional reputation tied to my maiden name.

This wasn’t an easy decision. My parents and family were always adamant about me keeping my maiden name. They saw it as a constant—something that connected me to my roots, my upbringing, and the legacy they worked so hard to build. Their advocacy for my name added to my internal struggle as I tried to balance their wishes with my desire to create a new identity for myself.

Ultimately, I decided to honor both perspectives. Professionally, I use my maiden name— Courtenay-Aponte—and in family matters, I embrace Mrs. Aponte. This compromise allows me to respect my family’s history while also honoring the life I’m building with my husband and daughter.

Now that I am settling into my own family as an adult there are some hiccups that can make holding on to a hypenated name a bit difficult. For example, people knowing I’m married but only see Courtenay, refer to me as “Mrs. Courtenay.”

Ahhh please that’s Ms. Courtenay! Not to be confused with my mother, Mrs. Courtenay. She is the Mrs. I’m not “mom!” But now, that’s a whole new pill to swallow. My mother is no longer here. Now that the name has been passed forward, my connection to the name has shifted. I’ve learned the name is not my own to manage. It’s no longer just a representation of who I am—it’s a legacy that I respect, but I must allow it to evolve on its own and that process of evolving tends to tie tighter in some areas and untie in others my connections to it.

While I deeply value the history behind the Courtenay name, I’ve found a new grounded love for my first name: Gesai. It’s the one part of my identity that has stayed consistent through every SEASONS of change. My name, while often mispronounced by teachers and strangers, has always been a source of pride. It’s unique, it’s me, and for me, it’s unchangeable.

This truth is what inspired the name of my blog: Just Gesai. It’s not about the

roles I play

or

the names I carry—

it’s about the core of who I am. Whether I’m Ms. Courtenay, Mrs. Aponte, Courtenay-Aponte, or simply “Aria’s mom,” one thing has always remained true: I am, and will always be, Gesai.

So what’s your name? And by that I mean, the core to who you are. 

If you’ve ever felt torn between who you’ve been and who you’re becoming, I hope this space offers comfort and solidarity. Embracing the core of who you are takes courage, especially when life and expectations pull you in every direction. 

So here’s my challenge to you: embrace your journey—all of it. The

ups,

the downs,

the moments that shaped you,

and the ones that tested you. Every twist and turn has made you who you are at your core. Celebrate the struggles as much as the victories, and hold onto the parts of you that remain constant, even as life pulls you in different directions.

Then, name it. What is the name that reminds you of it all—the pain, the growth, the resilience—but also gives you that burst of strength to push past it and feel empowered to embrace even more? Let that name be your anchor, a reminder of who you are and all you’ve overcome.

You are more than a title or a role. You are the sum of your experiences, your resilience, and your growth. So take pride in the name that reminds you of your journey and the person it’s shaping you to be. And when you hear that name—smile. Let it ground you in your truth and inspire you to KEEP moving FORWARD.

Love,

Gesai